Do You Pee And Leave?
I take cleanliness seriously. On a scale of 1 to Howard Stern/Howie Mandel Clean Crazy, I’m not quite there yet. I don’t freak out about shaking hands with strangers nor do I go to the ER if someone...
View ArticleI Don’t Like Pumpkin Spice But I Do Like Zac Efron
Every September the first Monday signifies the end of summer and the beginning of Pumpkin Spice, the season formally known as Fall. See everywhere I turn, there’s some girl wearing a light sweater,...
View ArticleAre You Old Enough To Dislike The Kardashians?
I don’t know what fleek means. Well, I didn’t know what fleek means. I looked it up and, apparently, fleek means “on point.” And “on point” means good, as in your outfit. The fact that I don’t know...
View Article4 Ways To Ruin Your Hair
I wish I were friends with the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton. It’s not that I’d want to hang out on parade lines with her waving for no particular reason, it’s that I wish I could have been the...
View ArticleWhen Your Husband Washes The Dishes
I’m washing the dishes. That’s because Justin’s just washed the dishes, but only washed half. So I’m washing the dishes. Because when my husband says, “I cleaned up the whole kitchen,” what he actually...
View ArticleWhen You Accidentally Say I Love You To The UPS Man
It’s the middle of the day. My cell phone rings. The caller ID shows the name of my son’s school. I sigh knowing full well that as soon as I answer, my day will be ruined. Teachers don’t call mid day...
View ArticleWhen Your Readers Want You To Join ISIS
Dear Tariq: Thank you so much for your note, which read, “How are you? I saw your pictures, you are looking so pretty. Hope you have time to chat with me”. I also appreciated the 14 or so other notes...
View ArticleWhen A Mother Calls Direct TV
It wasn’t until I had been on the phone with Ambar from Direct TV for 20 minutes that I noticed how much time had passed. Through his thick Indian accent, Ambar informed me over and over again that he...
View ArticlePotato Chips & Everything Else I Needed To Survive The Goop 2016 Detox Cleanse
There are a few things you’ll need to know about me before we begin. First, I don’t hate Gwyneth Paltrow. In fact, I resisted joining the dog pile on Gwyneth bandwagon even when it seemed like everyone...
View ArticlePaint ‘N Sip, Scrapbooking & Other Things I’d Rather Not Do With My Friends
I can finally confess that as a child I hated sleepovers. I was fine with a friend spending the night at my house. Though truth be told I was always ready for them to leave after dinner. Even as a kid,...
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